Post Developing Healthy Kids – here’s a bit of information regarding anxiety for those of you who were planning on attending last night’s DHK event ANGST.
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The importance of Alateen for students living with alcoholic parents is too significant to put into words. Many do not know that Alateen changes the entire course of a student’s life and this is how.
For kids who grow up in an alcoholic home the chances they either marry and alcoholic or become one is significantly higher than someone who did not live in an alcoholic home. Kids will believe their crazy home life is normal and will think that every marriage is supposed to be like their parents. If they do not become an alcoholic themselves, which there is a very high chance they will, the will probably marry one and fall into the cycle of enabling. Alateen has the power to break this cycle. Something that is commonly misunderstood is that only the alcoholic needs help. This is far from the truth. If spouses and children do not receive help as well, they will continue the same dysfunctional behaviors. It is very common for alcoholism to run through families and its because this cycle is hard to break. Alateen teaches that we can’t control anyone but ourselves; not even the alcoholic. We learn to live a life with healthy behaviors, even if the alcoholic is still drinking. We break the cycle of dysfunction that might have been going on in our families for many generations. As kids we might feel powerless living in an alcoholic home, but with Alateen we have all the power to choose how we interact with the alcoholic and the foundations on which we build our own families. By: Sophie lloyd“We don’t only live in ourselves; we also live in those we love and those who love us.” I believe that we are living for relationships. So when evaluating the relationships that you’re in and the friendships that you have, try to put things into perspective. A good way to do that is sit with yourself for a little bit, alone. And think about it this way: if we’re living for relationships, that means that we are living for the people that we’re surrounding ourselves with everyday. As each day passes, you are growing and becoming more of who you are. The people who surround you are having the biggest influence on that. When your time on earth is coming to an end, and you are reflecting over your life, are these relationships that are all consuming now something that you would be proud of? Are these people that surround you now the people that you would be excited to have spent your time with? Did they teach you and grow you everyday? Are these relationships worth living for?
Just a little food for thought By: Eric pilko, Rhs facultyI was listening today to an interview given by one of the teenagers who attends Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. She was waiting outside the church for her friend’s funeral to start.
Every time this happens, some things go through my head, some things weigh on me. Like I’m sure they do for every teacher in this country. A couple years ago, we had a bomb threat at the high school. Our principal came on the PA and asked us to bring our classes down to the gym. No explanation, just do it. In that moment I had 30 scared kids looking at me for answers I didn’t have. All the teenage tough-guy/gal bravado was gone. Thirty sets of eyes looked at me, the grown-up and said ‘Keep us safe.’ And in that moment, I felt the incredible weight of that responsibility to my kids. If you ask my wife she will tell you I refer to my students as ‘my kids’. When we spot one of them in downtown Rockford, I’ll say ‘That’s one of mine.’ When your kid comes through my classroom they are forever one of mine. Even if they caused me grief and heartburn, they are one of mine. Every single one. That’s what we teachers signed up for. To be a small part of your kid’s life and, hopefully, to do some good in it. Nowhere in teacher college do they sit us down and tell us this could be a job you’re going to put your life on the line for. Cops, soldiers and firefighters know that going in. We don’t. Or at least we didn’t. Rockford did a security training a while back where the instructor told us that, in an active shooter situation, it is imperative that we do NOT stop and try to help kids who have fallen. Our job is to save as many kids as possible. Which means you lead the kids that can walk and do not stop for kids lying on the ground. Because if we stop, we could die and then we couldn’t help anyone. This is a thing first responders know. They know to step over bodies and keep moving. And this was a conversation we had. At our school. At Rockford. Among teachers. Don’t stop for bleeding, dying children. Step over them. Your children. My children. Save the ones you can. Keep moving. This is our reality now. These are the discussions we, your children’s teachers, are having at meetings, on lunch breaks and in hallways. What would we do if it were us? It is a thing I think about when I look at your kids. When I send my own kids to school. And a thing that looms large when I hear about another school shooting on the news. Whose kid might I have to step over, bleeding and dying so I can save someone else’s kid? Will my daughter’s teacher have to step over her body to save someone else’s kid? This isn’t a hypothetical. It happened last week. Teachers stepped over the bodies of bleeding, dying children to try and save others. Teachers died in a hail of gunfire trying to protect those kids. The parents and families of those children and teachers are arranging funerals this week. We have reached a point where teachers have to legitimately ask whether we are willing to die for our kids. And I get so sad and angry when the inevitable conclusion is a collective shrug, ‘Oh well. What can we do?’ The way things are right now, there may come a day wen we see images of Rockford on the news. God forbid. But we are not special. We are not exempt. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can do better. I promise to take care of your kids like I take care of my own kids. I will be a caring adult who does my level best to keep them safe, physically and emotionally when they are in my care. Please do your part to keep us safe. Vote for candidates who support smart, sensible gun control. Or call or email your representative. Support them when they are courageous enough to speak up for our kids’ safety. Make your voice heard. For your kids. For my kids. Right now the teenage victims in Florida are speaking out. Children are doing what we adults have failed to do time and again - they are speaking out against this senseless horror. Seeking change. Don’t let traumatized high schoolers have to be the ones making politicians do their jobs. They are kids. WE are the grown ups. It is our job to keep them safe. My Story
Hello(: My name is Avery and I am a senior at RHS. I am a peer listener and I struggle with mental illness. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and bulimia when I was 15, but was struggling quietly for about a year before that. I was very scared because my depression kinda popped out of nowhere. There wasn’t a big event that sparked it, so I was embarrassed to admit I was sad. At that age, no one really talked about mental illnesses and I was scared people would think I was crazy. What I didn’t realize was that when you hold all your emotions in at some point you’re going to explode. I suffered alone for a year before my first suicide attempt. I had suicidal thoughts for a long time. When I first attempted, I had no real plan. I regret making that rash decision, but I am grateful for the fact that I finally got help. With help from hospital staff, my family and friends, I was determined to get better. Eventually, the depression became worse and I developed anorexia. My junior year of high school, I had completely given up on my hopes of overcoming this illness. I made an attempt on my life, but I miraculously survived. I failed, but it’s a good thing. In failing, I have a second chance at a long life full of possibilities. After another hospitalization, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anorexia. I am still struggling today, and to be blunt, it sucks. It’s hard to be optimistic with all this pain inside. I just recently went back to Forest View outpatient for a couple weeks. I see a psychiatrist, psychologist, and a dietician. I am working on getting better and I want people to know there are others going through similar stuff. You’re not alone. So this is my story. My advice to you is this: please reach out to a safe person that will help you. See a counselor. Tell a parent. Lend me your ear for just a moment
Even if that is all you have All of you, if not most Have been to the mandatory assemblies of repeated hope Nothing new, but not yet old I’m here to make mix it up a little There are people in this place hurting and in pain It is nothing normal to feel the repeated dark thoughts Creeping out from the corners We all will have days We cannot look at ourselves in the mirror Where our biggest enemy is ourselves It is difficult facing the world on a one-man team To seek out help might seem like a creation of another problem But that is not the truth And if you ever thought that you have been lied to, deceived By the darker part of the world you perceive Seek out the light and you shall receive And if it’s not the first time, don’t make it the last time One more time, every time That’s a lot to ask but, I know you’re up for the task If you need help, just ask Because too many people are sad If we could once every day, welcome someone new Into the world we call our own Try to say, “hello” Ask questions, and look for answers Not just for ourselves Then this world could be a much greater place Skills left on the shelf, now run into the world All of us have skills we hide in the fear of judgment Being told we are not good enough But I am here to tell you, you are amazing I met too many people who are amazing In every aspect, that have skills I will admit, I am jealous of Yet, they are stuck behind the word, “imperfect” As if flaws are a species That should have been long extinct But that’s not true No matter how many times I say, you are amazing Still, I will not stop every day You make my day, every day We have many things, we’d like to do great things But why don’t we? Because they are labeled, stupid With that label, we are told to give up But the real stupid thing is We give up before we gave it a try Make an effort, make a choice People do admire the fact you tried People will never get to know you If you give up the first time We fear mistakes but we are often not afraid of doing nothing And if that doesn’t even sound a little wrong Then I’m concerned, not disappointed Because I really can’t do that We should make our passions a reality Not at the cost of others, though We must invest time in what we want Because we cannot retrieve time Does not mean we should fear it Rather, respect it Because it is still our time -Presented at Developing Healthy Kids Rockford High School February 1, 2018 Sexual assault is not a statistic. It’s not a one-time situation that goes away after everyone stops talking about it. It doesn't leave the victim. Assault can be anywhere from calling someone a hoe multiple times--even if you say it’s a joke--to groping, to any degree of rape. Regardless of what they were wearing, what influence they were under at the time, or what their gender is, it affects both sides of the assault. We teach kids that they should look out for scary guys in vans, yet the most dangerous predators are the people we let into our home after letting our guard down. They could be a family member or someone you’ve known for many years. It doesn’t seem like it could happen to you, but this is real life.
You might be thinking these statistics are terrible and your heart goes out to the families of the victims, but it will never happen to you. Well, sometimes in life God throws you curveballs that will flip your world upside down. You have to learn to stick up for yourself, and it shows you how much stronger you are than you thought before the harassment/assault happened. It leaves scars that take a long time to heal. Those scars can be opened by the simplest triggers or memories--especially when you don’t see it coming . The most important thing about this is to find any hope you can and cling on to it so you don’t lose sight of the big picture. Most importantly, don’t forget it’s YOUR story! You control what you can control! Don’t let one chapter become the whole book. Be the survivor--not the victim--and I promise that you will get through this There is a concept called “core lies” that has played a major role in my life. A core lie is the one lie we all tell ourselves when everything is falling apart. For some people it might be that they aren’t pretty enough, they’ll be rejected, or that they’re invisible. My core lie is that I’ll never be good enough. When my life is crumbling apart, I tell myself that I’m never going to be good enough.
Because of this lie, I push myself to succeed in school. I want to prove to myself that I can measure up to my standards and my parents standards. My parents are successful and amazing people, and I’ve always wanted to make them proud, which I do via school. This need for success results in anxiety. I have test anxiety. I know my anxiety is very mild, and is very minor compared to what others experience, yet it still plays a major role in my life. Before, or even during tests I can feel my heart start to race, and my breathing start to shorten. I have this quirk that when I get stressed out, I drink lots of water. I chug my water because if the rest of my life is falling apart, at least I could be hydrated. This fall I was in class, and all I could think about was my test next hour. I felt myself start to tear up, my heart started to race, and my breathing became shallow. I had to leave class, and I couldn’t stop crying. I was told to take a deep breath, but I just couldn’t. Often times during a math test when I don’t know how to solve a problem, my immediate reaction is panic. It’s as if a switch is flipped in my brain and I my body instantly turns to chaos. Exam week I become overwhelmed by all the studying that I have to do. As I think about all the exams that I have to succeed on, my body turns to panic. I stress myself out all because I need to feel good enough. But every time I try to reach standards I’m left feeling unsatisfied. When I reach the school’s standards, I don’t feel satisfied. When I reach my teachers standards, I still feel like I’m not good enough. When I reach my parents standards, I’m left feeling discontent. Even when I strive and hit my own standards, the dooming lie of not being good enough still looms in my life. I feel like no matter which standards I hit, there’s always something I could do to improve. There is always some other way I could be better. Everytime I add another standard, I add another layer of anxiety. It’s like a growing weed. As this weed continues to grow upwards, the roots keep growing farther down. And the farther down the roots, the harder it is to pull out. It’s been really hard to get rid of this weed in my life. I have to continually tell myself, “I am good enough.” And it’s been really hard. But I recently met with my youth pastor, and as I explained the core lie I was dealing with, he looked me in the eyes and repeatedly told me “Elsa, you are good enough.” This phrase was so powerful it moved me to tears. It is extremely powerful to be told the opposite of the lies we believe. Although my parents had told me they were proud of me, to be reminded that the lies I believe weren’t true was a moment of meaning. I can’t say that after this moment, my anxiety and core lie disappeared. I’m still working on telling myself that I am good enough. I’m trying to fake it till I make it. If I can tell myself that I’m good enough, even if I don’t believe it right now, one day I will believe that I’m good enough. Everyone has a core lie, and I don’t know how your core lie affects you. My core lie of “not being good enough” gives me anxiety. And I know my anxiety won’t disappear, but hopefully one day I will be able to take a test and not worry about failing, or constantly try to reach another standard, but for right now I’m just taking one day at a time, on test question at a time, and one breath at a time. During the week of 1/15/18, the RHS Peer Listeners focused each day on promoting mental health and creating a more positive atmosphere around the school. The goal was to spread awareness and break the stigma around mental health. We value the mental health of each student and faculty and want to encourage them to value it as well.
Monday- In the morning, students were greeted by Peer Listeners passing out colored necklaces. Each color meant something different (see picture below). Students embraced the greeting and loved the idea.The goal was to spread awareness of how many people are impacted by mental illness is some way. Throughout the day, students were moved as they learned they have more in common with other students than they may have thought. Tuesday- During lunch, Peer Listeners encouraged students to write one thing they loved about themselves, one of their friends or a staff member. We want students to have positive self talk and to remember all the great qualities they have. We also believe encouraging others is important. These were then displayed for the rest of the week to be a reminder for students every day. Wednesday- This was the best day of the week so far! We passed out bracelets reading "I am strong." We wanted to encourage and uplift students while also giving them something to smile about throughout the day. Thursday- During lunch, students were invited to write what inspired them on a large poster. It was fun to see all the different things that inspired RHS students. Students also received candy for participating! We then displayed the poster in the school to be a reminder and encouragement to work hard each day. Friday- On Fridays we always host a "Meet & Eat" for those who want a more private place to sit since the cafeteria can be intimidating for some students. This week at "Meet & Eat" we had cookies and watched inspirational videos. It was fun to talk with students from RHS and it was the perfect ending to our Mental Health Awareness Week. |
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